The Courage to Tell the Truth

It wasn’t how I’d planned to end my Sunday evening.

My wife and I had had a good weekend visiting her dad. The three hour plus drive home was beautiful as we enjoyed the fall colors and the changing of seasons in northern Minnesota.

A friend had called me earlier in the day and left a voice mail that he wanted to talk with me about something. I texted him after I got the message and told him I’d call him in the evening.

After getting home and taking care of a few things it was time to give my friend a call back.

We exchanged very few pleasantries as he wanted to get into the point of his call from earlier in the day. We started down his path but the point of the conversation changed quickly as I recognized he needed someone to speak truth to him.

I must admit that in the past I have not been as blunt with my friend as I’ve needed to be. My need to be courageously honest with him was overshadowed by my fear of how he might react or of hurting his feelings. Sometimes being “the courage guy” has its drawbacks!

Often in these situations it is very easy to beat around the bush and not be extremely clear about what needs to be done. We hope that they hear enough to get the point or that someone else will fill in the blanks for them if they aren’t getting it. Then, when nothing changes we wonder why. Just because we say something doesn’t mean it’s going to change but we know we’ve done what we can.

I told him the reason I was being so blunt and honest with him was because I cared about and for him. If I didn’t care about him I wouldn’t be honest with him. All too often we put off these conversations because we are waiting for the “right time” whatever that means. The “right time” is when you have the opportunity.

Protecting myself because of my fear of his reaction would be of no help to him. In fact, it only would be a passive endorsement to continue doing what he’s doing.

It takes courage to call people out on their behavior that is harmful to themselves and those around them. It’s not fun but it needs to be done. We don’t have any control over what they do with the information provided but if we aren’t honest with the people in our lives likely no one else will be either.

Is there someone in your life you need to have a courageous conversation with today?

Matthew 18:15-17


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  • Anthony Verderame

    Great job Dave! Prov 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Also, Prov 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” The most LOVING thing we can do is to “speak the truth in love.” It is truly selfish to withhold truth, admonition, correction, etc.