“At least you’ll know and then you can stop worrying about it.”
Those are the words of Kevin in the movie Home Alone to Old Man Marley. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve had three conversation with different people who are considering reaching out to someone they know in an attempt to restore a broken relationship.
You may remember Kevin stops into a church on Christmas Eve as he prepares for his battle with the Wet Bandits.
While he is sitting in a pew listening to a children’s choir practice old man Marley sees him and comes over to talk with Kevin. If you’re not familiar with the movie Kevin is terrified of old man Marley because of stories he’s heard about him from his older siblings and friends. The old man sees the startled look on Kevin’s face and quickly reassures him that the rumors about him are not true.
Marley tells Kevin the reason he is in church is to see his granddaughter sing because he can’t be there for the actual service because he and his son are not on speaking terms and he wouldn’t be welcome. He goes on to say that he and his son haven’t spoken for a long time and he misses him. You can watch most of the clip here or read the transcript below:
The rest of the conversation goes like this:
Kevin: If you miss him why don’t you call him?
Marley: I’m afraid if I call him he won’t talk to me.
Kevin: How do you know?
Marley: I don’t know. I’m just afraid he won’t.
Kevin: No offense, but aren’t you a little old to be afraid?
Marley: You can be a little old to be a lot of things. You’re never too old to be afraid.
Kevin goes on to tell Marley that he understands his fear and tells him the story of how he used to be afraid of his basement. One day he simply made the decision to go down there and he found out it was really “no big deal.”
Marley asks Kevin, “What’s your point?”
Kevin: My point is you should call your son.
Marley: What if he won’t talk to me?
Kevin: At least you’ll know and then you can stop being worrying about it and you won’t have to be afraid anymore.
Sure, it’s just a movie but there is great wisdom in Kevin’s words. The fear we create in our heads is often far greater than the actual thing we fear.
Whether it’s a relationship fear as in old man Marley’s case, or a job change, or confronting a challenging person in our lives, or whatever your fear is doing something about it takes courage.
As Kevin says if you take that step of courage, “at least you’ll know and then you can stop worrying about it and you won’t have to be afraid anymore!”
Kevin goes on to say that Marley should make the call for the sake of his granddaughter. “I’m sure she misses you,” says Kevin. As with many of our fears other people pay a price when we don’t have the courage to face our fears.
Broken relationships are hard. Attempting to restore them can be even harder. It takes a great deal of courage to reach out and try to make this happen. If you’re in this situation you really have two choices. Do nothing and continue to wonder. In this scenario, one of the people will eventually pass away leaving the other person to continue in a life of uncertainty. The second option is to courageously reach out. It may work, or, it may not. But, at least you’ll know.
A powerful statement about this difficult life issue came recently in the movie Green Book. “You know, the world is full of lonely people afraid to make the first move.”
Do you have the courage to make the first move? At least you’ll know!
Have a STRONG and COURAGEOUS day!
Do you need a speaker for an upcoming event? I’d love to be that guy. You can reach me at dave@cultivatecourage.com or 952-200-7499.
You can now buy the book “Cultivate Courage” on Amazon! https://amzn.to/2L4axey
This is an updated version of a post that originally ran on November 20, 2017.
I like this story of Kevin an old man Marley. Thanks for sharing. As most “older” people I know would attest, there is a young aspect to us… and that includes some of our fears.
On Thanksgiving Day I read a great quote that fits this discussion:
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength”.
Corrie Ten Boom
I can lean into that one!
Enjoy your blessed week,
Cindy
Cindy, I love that Corrie Ten Boom quote. When I think about people who had a lot to worry about she would be near or at the top of the list! What an example of living a life of strength in the face of incredible hardship! Thanks, Cindy, and blessings to you on your week as well!